There is an episode of the Simpsons where TV muscle guy Rainier Wolfcastle mentors Homer to become a bodybuilder. Homer's secret weapons in the quest for fitness are Powersauce Energy Bars ("A bushel of apples packed in every bar, plus a secret ingredient that unleashes the awesome power of apples!!!") Homer later finds out that they are in fact made of apple cores and old Chinese newspapers.

There's a whole lot of bad science going on in branding, and not just in the murky world of bodybuilding. In fact, dodgy ingredients and phony clinical trials have been stalwarts of manufacturers ever since doctors were hired to endorse brands of healthy cigarettes. Surely, in 2007, us media savvy consumers wouldn't fall for such nonsense?

I give you Nivea Energy Fresh Deodorant - bursting with the awesome power of lemongrass! The visibly energized women in the advert would seem to imply that lemongrass has natural energy giving properties. However, a quick whiz around the net provides no evidence that lemon grass (Cymbolapogon flexuosus) is not commonly used as a stimulant. In fact a number of sources note that Lemongrass can be used as a mild depressant for the central nervous system.

And look again at the poster. The lady's not encircled by clumps of lemongrass, but halves of lemons. Now I'm no botanist, but even I know that lemon trees have no relation to lemongrass plants.

This campaign is rolling out all over the UK at the moment. It's accompanied by a poster for a new Nivea Visage Power range, which promises to revitalise the skin with an ingredient so valuable and scarce that only a manufactured cream can unleash its awesome potential. The ingredient? Oxygen.

Not long now before the book is out. Twenty years of brand shopping, eight months of therapy, one and a half years of writing and one public bonfire compressed into this small book - doesn't seem like much to show for it all really. I can't quite bring myself to read the thing yet, but the missus is half way through. 'I never knew you were quite so shallow' she said after the second chapter.

Anyway, the blog is back up and running, and I'm out and about doing some talks in the next few weeks if you have time to kill. First up is 'The Call Of The Wild' at the ICA on 3rd September. I'm joining Jay Griffiths, author of 'Wild: An Elemental Journey', Joanna Kavenna, author of 'Inglorious' and Tom Hodgkinson of The Idler and 'How To Be Free' in a talk to discuss 'the possibilities of un-tethering ourselves from the modern world'. Tom wanted to call the talk 'Smash The State', but the ICA had other ideas, which is handy, as I'm not entirely sold on state smashing.

Next up is book launch event on September 6th. We've set up a debate between myself, the BBC documentary maker Adam Curtis, Peter York and an account planner from Mother, whose name escapes me right now. And it's chaired by Ekow Eshun. There'll also be a bit of audience participation with ESP - a psychometric brand consultancy - who'll demonstrate some of the psychological practices currently used in advertising. Should be fascinating.

Then the Soho theatre on October 2nd - a talk with Lucy Siegle. Lucy is a wonderful writer who produces absolutely essential features on ethical consumerism and the environment for the Observer. I should really be interviewing her.

I sincerely hope these events go better than the Edinburgh Festival talk I gave this past week. My debate with writer Tobias Jones descended into class war very quickly; 'I think the trouble is people like you Neil, don't have the vocabulary to fully express the current human condition' said Toby. 'I might have had that vocabulary if I had the privilage of attending Jesus College like you did, Toby.' The crowd gave a pantomime hiss and it all went downhill from there.