Going brand-free does not, it seems make for a good haul of presents on your birthday. The usual catch of luxury consumables and entry level designer knick knacks were this year replaced with no name alternatives (green boiler suit anyone?) by friends who are diligently preparing me for the upcoming fire. One couple stuck by their branded guns and gave me some chocolates and biscuits from the ultra fancy department store Fortnum & Mason, and I can tell you that these tasted 1000 times better than the 'artisan' wholefood chocolates (guaranteed handmade by a wizened old crow in a barn in a rainforest somewhere) someone else gave me. The transformational power of the brand eh?
In planning for the bonfire, I have had to supply a list of goods to be destroyed for the local council and fire department. As I wrote this out this morning, I again began to conceive secret plans to hide some of the best gear from the fire, and replace it with products for which I hold no emotional value. I am going to have to ban myself from charity shops, dumps, car boot sales etc near the time to prevent brand burning fraud.
Bonfire Item List (approximate and incomplete)
Clothes:
150 tops
30 trousers
10 shorts
25 coats
30 trainers
10 shoes
10 hats
20 underpants
20 socks
5 sunglasses
Jewellery:
2 watches
10 chains
1 money clip
3 keyrings
5 badges/ broaches
4 rings
Luggage:
2 wallets
3 shoulder bags
2 overnight bags
1 trolley bag
Electricals:
1 turntable
1 amplifier
2 speakers
1 radio
1 land line phone
2 mobile phones
1 kettle
1 fridge
1 washing machine
1 hoover
1 dvd/ vhs player
1 television
Cosmetics:
20 assorted bottles aftershave, shampoo, moisturiser, deodorant
15 assorted bottles/ boxes detergent, cleaning agents
Furniture:
2 wooden chairs
2 plastic chairs
1 sideboard
8 plastic storage boxes
1 waste bin
1 rug
Crockery:
5 cups and saucers
1 teapot
6 plates
2 vases
Others:
1 bicycle
4 pillows
1 duvet
Some obvious items, the ibook for example, are missing from the list because I so far not figured out a way to live/ work without them. I will therefore be paying for these items to be de-branded. See, I am taking this seriously.
On another note, is there a single branded company on the planet that isn't cashing in on the World Cup? Is there a single professional footballer on the planet that hasn't signed some sort of sponsorship deal? On almost every TV advert last night, one player or another was playing keepie-up with fast food packaging, credit cards, sun glasses, toilet cleaner, ten tonne lead weights (I wish). And the nation's brand, the George Cross flag now flies atop every white van on the road; the high strength cocktail of corporate sponsorship and flag waving nationalism making me feel dizzy at times. The one place on television that is brand free at the moment is Big Brother; Channel 4 routinely cover packaging with black tape to prevent any unpaid endorsements from slipping throughout he net. Football, Reality TV, which is worse? Ah well, I could turn the damn TV off and do something less boring instead.
10 Comments:
Morning Neil
You gotta get friends who can find some of the really good artisan chocolates prepared by passionate people - these for instance in Ireland
http://www.cocoabeanchocolates.com
or in Brighton http://www.montezumas.co.uk/
:-)
keith
Neil,
My friend... Your f**kin bonkers... Burning clothes, shoes etc is one thing... But, burning your white goods, hi fi, side table etc, this is a bit unnessary...
You should only burn stuff if there is a true 'non branded' alternative... I dont know if you can get an unbranded fridge, but where will you keep the champagne to celebrate your new miserable life...
Lee
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Hiya Neil,
We've mentioned your blog and book on http://www.lowbudgetlife.com.
Low Budget Life readers are all pretty debranded, but I'm shocked to see you're going to be burning decent, everyday stuff.
Are you literally going to 'burn' these items? What about all those chemicals? Maybe you could post and add for this stuff on lowbudgetlife.com and our readers can take it off your hands for free - no fire needed.
Why not just burn all the vacous, pointless status-brands?
Because giving his stuff away isn't good publicity!
He can't destroy it in an assembly line, because that would be ripping off Michael Landy.
Burning makes nicer photos for his culture jam in all the glossy magazines.
He's trying to be an aspirational brand himself. The aspirational anti-brand man.
Likely, these are thoughts that will end up in the book. He can't disclose them yet, there's a year to go and a book to sell. Why would we keep reading the blog if any of this made any sense?
Anne
thanks for that. Shame you didn't leave an email address... I should like to send you some flowers for posting a genuinely sane and measured comment on this blog.
God bless you madam.
Don't get me wrong, Neil. It's just that in my view what's rather perverted is not the cost of the things you're destroying, but the fact that you bought all that crap in the first place.
But I would hope your former level of brand excess affects such a small (financially priveledged) portion of the population that it is more a reflexion on your own neuroses and addictive personality than on culture as a whole.
Not to say that you won't have significant things to say about brand identity, but I think your experience is only really relevant to the brands themselves.
They're likely to be the ones studying your book in an attempt to create more brand automatons such as yourself.
As a critique, all the irony tied up in a book clearly written for an audience of brands as much as against them, as well as the shameless self-promotion is likely to alienate a greater audience for this project.
At this point, it's all a bit too thin. Early days yet, but none of this seems well thought out beyond its publicity stunt/culturejam qualities, and in that it's all a bit two years ago.
I think I would be more interested in a book that was written from what appeared to be a sincere place. Or indeed, a book about someone who quietly donated all his things to charity and lived naked for a year and wrote a book about it, rather than all this smugness. But maybe that's just me....
Anne
I'm sorry that you feel the project has a smugness about it. It shouldn't come over that way... I am laying myself bare to all and sundry, admitting to the shallow state my life has become, attempting to understand why and how, and trying to establish a more wholesome life in the process.
I guess you'll have to read the book to decide that for yourself. There's an awful lot of stuff in the book that I can't publish on the blog for various reasons. But alongside the burning, the therapy and the serach for a new lifestyle, i'll be outlining the history of brands, the science behind them, the sociological, psychological and political issues surrounding branded consumerism.
By outlining these subjects I (and hopefully others) might come to understand why brands so influence our identities and self esteem.
As for the project being 'two years ago', Vance Packard first wrote about this subject in The Hidden Persuaders back in the 50's, so i'm almost '60 years ago'. I don't think serious socio-political subjects like this should be discussed according to them being trendy or not. If that were the case, we'd all be voting for David Cameron in the next election, no?
Anyhow, I appreciate you taking the time to post your comments.
Neil.
Why dont you just E Bay the stuff and give the proceeds to Charity?
Dear Neil (if that is your real name),
Having just read the list of stuff you're burning I reckon you might actually be a girl.
40 pairs of footwear indeed!
-Flanders-
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