Colleen McLoughlin, fiancée to Wayne Rooney is surely the most branded celebrity in the UK. Of course, her fame originates from being the partner of a famous footballer. But there are hundreds of (arguably prettier and smarter) WAG's (wives and girlfriends) for the press to feed upon. Colleen's fame really lies in her spectacular consumption of luxury branded goods.
Colleen McLoughlin, the teenager fiancée of popular star Wayne Rooney was left red-faced after her credit card was rejected thrice at an exclusive boutique in Madrid. McLoughlin was buying a Chanel belt worth £1,343 but unfortunately her card was rejected three times.
www.celebgossip.us
At the start of her fame, Colleen was treated as something of a joke in the press, labeled a 'Super Chav' for spending so much money on Juicy Couture tracksuits and garish Dior handbags. But now she has refined her taste in luxury, and started spending money on 'the right' brands, the press have brought her in from the cold. Our Colleen is all about Balenciaga and Prada now, and the chav label has been duly dropped, appearing in the pages of Vogue no less.
The Independent reported yesterday that the local press are growing tired of the WAG's antics in Germany (clearing boutiques of Gucci and LV, guzzling Cristal and enjoying endless beauty treatments); one reporter remarked 'How can you tell the difference between the species of English women and the majority of German women? In 10 minutes, they spend more cash on clothes than ours do in a lifetime'.
If you asked most people, in the UK or otherwise, what they would do if they suddenly found fame and fortune, I'm guessing it would be 1. go shopping 2. celebrate continuously 3. pamper themselves endlessly 4. travel the world and flaunt it. Which is exactly what Colleen and friends are doing. This is the modern aspiration of success and these girls have achieved it. To be honest, I'd probably do the same.
As Colleen has discovered, there is an art to being successful; that is to say, its not enough, in the eyes of the establishment, to enjoy success as one would from the lower orders. To be accepted into the upper echelons of society, one must conform to their steely standards of good taste, what what?
As a young boy, bullied by other kids in the playground for not having the right football/ sports bag/ lunchbox, I used to wonder, exactly who appoints members of the fashion police? Who decided that Diadora sneakers were the entry point to acceptance in the cool club? When I became a very low-ranking officer of the fash police at Sleazenation, I used to sit at my desk and ponder the same question; who made us all guardians of directional good taste? The one thing I did learn was this; while peddling the myth of branded beauty, all the fashion and beauty editors were largely (a) not very fashionable themselves (b) not very attractive either (c) all very very single (d) slightly nervous that the whole industry is built upon a house of cards. Next time a fashion expert pops up on TV, or their picture appears next to a column in the papers, take a good long look at them. Ollie Picton Jones, Anna Wintour, Hadley Freeman, the chunky lady with the black bob and half moon glasses on GMTV who looks like a posh witch… rotters, every single one of them. The people who specialise in making us feel fat, ugly and inadequate aren't much cop themselves. It's all, as far as I can see, a load of old cobblers.
7 Comments:
Ahem...might be revealing my Vogue addiction here alongside my anal retentiveness, but Colleen never appeared on the cover of Vogue. There were loads of rumors in the press at the time, but there was just a feature on her inside. I have some vague recollection of editor Alexandra Shulman making some comment about her not being cover girl material (but in a non-bitchy way)!
Just so...y'know...you get all the facts right for your book.
Can you add Nicky Hambleton-Jones to the list? Surely one of the greatest sinners in the beauty conspiracy. And, for that matter, 'Dr' Gillian McKeith, who chastises the overweight for doing poo that smells. Perhaps in the future a reality TV show format will be invented in which pseudo-experts slice open the bodies of willing participants, and then belittles them for having blood in the wrong shade of red.
It could be sponsored by Chanel No.5.
Holly
thanks for that. I am indeed badly informed. I'll change that right away.
Kevin
ah, sorry Kevin but i take exception to Nicky Hambleton Jones... not sure if its the glasses or the accent, but there's something about Nicky that floats my boat. Now Tranny & Susanna, there's two good reasons to bring back public hanging.
Hi Neil,
If you found fame and fortune overnight how long do you think it take, before you revert back to Brand filled existence?
About three weeks? No seriously, this is for life. It would indeed be a cruel irony that I would have nothing to spend my money on, if this book were to become a success.
Ah well, I'm sure I'd find some decent causes to spend it on, away from Ralph Lauren. Contrary to popular opinion, book delas are not the money spinning ventures they appear to be.
Ultimately, the more successful the book becomes, the less likely i'll be able to revert back to my beloved brands without public humiliation.
Neil.
Nicky Hambleton-Jones's resemblance to Beaker from The Muppets is striking. Is there something you wish to confess Neil?
The Hilton American Express card was good for us. It helped our credit, we stayed in a nice hotel, and the customer service people were great.
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