It has begun. Having secured a book deal, I am legally committed to carry this declaration through. I was briefly transformed from my usual low-key self to a new, cheerful me, whistling to myself and smiling at strangers in the street. So happy that I announced to my circle of friends (in the most understated, blasé way possible) the news about the deal. This project, the burning, the therapy, the transformation, is something I've been discussing to them for over a year, to which they all agreed was a good idea, for a book at least. But every message of congratulation has followed with at least one of the following remarks…

'You'll never see it through. You, of all people couldn't burn your beloved brands.'

'What are you going to wear instead, a sack cloth?'

'You can't live brand-free anyhow, it's impossible.'

'You're not going to burn all your stuff, surely? You're better off staging it and hiding some of the good stuff away.'

'Can I have your Helmut Lang jacket before you destroy it?'

These reactions remind me of the time I first publicly admitted to alcoholism. After checking into an alcohol advisory service, I announced to my 'mates' that I was an alkie, I'd begun the process of giving up and was counting on their support. To my surprise, I received an overwhelmingly hostile reaction, as if I was talking rubbish, as if I was letting the side down, as if I was somehow casting aspersions on their own habits. I eventually fell out with a few friends after they told me I'd never be able to give up. Eight years later, I'm bone dry, save for the two controlled bursts of fun on my birthday and Christmas. I'm not going to fall out with anyone over to his project, but it's interesting to see how people react. No one has really asked my why I'm burning the gear. I wonder what on earth my life is going to be like in a year's time.

Went to see 'Syriana' last night. Good bit of product placement for Blackberry in there, as almost every key player in the film is seen tapping into one of their handsets at some point. I was becoming tired with mine, the emails relentlessly intrude into my life around the clock. But after seeing the film, I again feel an affinity to the brand and the international statesmen that use it. Warmonger Dick Cheney has one apparently.

Also, someone told me that Helmut Lang has closed down. Bizarrely, I felt a faint sense of loss, like a distant friend had passed away. I used to laugh at people that bought his gear; it was big in the nineties, one of those understated brands that people who thought they had taste wore, paying fifty quid for a plain white T-shirt of his, with no label on the front to show for it. But I gradually came round and bought some lovely items, even travelling to the Manchester branch of Selfridges to buy a particular pair of trousers, the only store that stocked them. One jacket never fails to attract attention, and I enjoy telling people where it's from. I went into a bizarre sort of denial at the news, immediately logging on to the net to see if it was true. It indeed is true, and I feel mournful. How ridiculous.