30.03.06
Sitting on a crowded bus yesterday, I spotted the most beautiful woman amongst the crowd. Huge dark eyes, the most delicate lips, and lavish brunette hair; if I was single I'd have been attempting some sort of breezy, nonchalant come-on (or thinking about it at the very least). As it is, I am very much not single, so I just sat back and admired her from afar. Some people, astonishingly, need exert no effort in radiating beauty, they just are. A faint pout of the lips, a flick of the head, a twitch of the nose… suddenly the bus pulls into a stop and the deck clears, leaving only her in full view. Disaster. She's wearing Pumas, the all-time most rubbish sneaker brand money can buy. The brand that says you'd like to be cool, you'd like to adventurous but you've not the confidence or the nouse or the balls to see it through. Think Puma, think bed-wetting James Blunt, think Saturday nights at Pizza Express, think Friends DVD box set. The woman's spellbinding beauty evaporates and, deflated, I turn to the window to stare at something less boring instead.
Destroying my emblems of status is only part of the journey towards a brand-free existence. No less daunting or unsettling is my coming to terms with the way I judge those around me. I wonder, how many personal relationships of mine are built on these shaky foundations? More to the point, how many meaningful encounters have I denied myself on the basis of branded footwear of all things? The scenario on the bus is just ridiculous. She might possibly have been the most engaging, stimulating, loveable person I'd never met. Saying that, I'd lay money on her owning at least one James Blunt CD.
Brands displayed 30/03.06: Reebok, Nike, Helmut Lang, Swatch (vintage), Nudie Jeans, Blackberry, Louis Vuitton, Co-Operative Bank.
Brands consumed: Volvic, Evian, Coca Cola, Marlborough Lights, ECM, MGM, Verbatim, Apple.
6 Comments:
You seem to be a rather vapid, pointless individual. Utterly devoid of any self awareness; people like you make me ill. No wonder our popular culture is so depressing. What a sacrifice you're making... wow. And we think the homeless have it bad eh? Such a comment on brands eh? You've done well out of it yourself. Why don't you give up your job as a brand pimp then eh?
What a solipsistic parvenu you really are. I'll but your book - and burn it myself.
OK, so i'll deal with these charges one by one
Vapid Pointless Individual:
From the tone of this blog I think this is an abvious assertion. The whole project is a confession to how vapid and pointless I have become.
Utterly devoid Of Any Self Awareness:
You must regret saying that after you calmed down, right? I am self aware top the point that I am criticising and self analysing my daily thought patterns and publishing them on a blog and in a book for anyone to see.
The Homeless:
Ditto the above. I realise these are the shallow neurosis of a middle class moaner. The whole point of the book is to illustrate how shallow we have all become. In posting that comment, I trust you give regularly to homeless charities or buy th Big Issue.
Give Up Your Job As A Brand Pimp:
This blog is a very long suicide note for a professional brand pimp. I don't expect to be doing any marketing work for brands after this book, and I am looking forward to that day.
Solipstic Pavenu:
I didn't know what that meant until yuou posted it, so thanks, you just broadend my lexicon.
So where do you go from here, are you going to be mr car boot man, second hand clothes, perhaps follow my cheap skate example and buy everything second hand and therefore have the satisfying thought that you have cut out the brand chain and silly mark up cost just to have a trainer with a tick.
I like the idea though, very brave but how do you ever get away from the brand? if you fancy passing on the louis vuitton bag to me instead of burning it, i think i will be able to handel the responsiblitiy of wearing it with pride knowing i am completely and utterly unlike anyone the brand portrays wearing louis vuitton, in fact will make sure if i am going out with this bag, that i wear my clothes from asda and tesco's while riding my bike eating donuts and looking fat.
Neil! Hi there,
I read your blog the other day when you emailed the link to it, I have
to admit afterwards sheepishly eyeing my little beloved battered pink
pumas.
The ones like rock climbing shoes and shuddering to think I was off the
cool radar and was missing some important synapse in my brain that
processed between "cool and so uncool cos its so obvious and try hard"
filter...Now I am wondering if your mumble about some styles being okay
would include mine?? I guess it would depend on if I confronted you or
not?? It did all strike me as utter shallow tripe in one way but in
another perfectly acceptable and fairly interesting observations and
self deprecating ones at that...we all do it,consume ferociously,
despite aspirations to be buddhist and live the dream in northern
spain....whilst dressed in marharishi's...and organic denim!!! Anyway it
made me laugh and as I am slowly dragging myself into this centuary,
first stop steve bought me an ipod ( still only 240 songs on it...) and
now gadzuks! I am toying with the idea of my own blog. How egotistical
it is, and awesome and one can make it look soo pretty and that is like
yet another extension of 'saying' something about yourself as well as
the content of th blog. I always used to think when I wrote there were 2
voices, the one knowing others would be reading the words later on and
then the other private one. Anyhow keep it up, impressed and amused and
reckon this honest banter about the fact that actually you don't really
want to part with any of your STUFF is the best route, I have a loft if
you need to hide anything...;-)
Anyway there is my input - thought you may like some feedback.
Good luck
Miranda x
P.s have you ever come across this site ( course you have you splutter
and roll your eyes...) I just liked the tag line..discussion for super
bored global fashion experts
www.superfuture.com
Hey Miranda
thanks for the link to superfuture, i'd never seen it before. I'm gonna pay for those Puma comments forever now. Still I need to be honest about these things. Just waiting for someone at Puma head office to post a response now!
hi Neil.
I'm reading your book translated by Korean.
your book is very impressive.
and i agree with you.
like judgement people by the brand.
I'm not free from bias.
thankyou for writing authentic essay.
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