28.03.06
I can't decide between the Blackberry and The Adidas, so they'll both be offered up as sacrificial lambs for the slaughter, sometime next week when I can get hold of a video camera to document the ritual. As the date grows nearer, I am sure my anxiety over the imminent loss will build, but for now I am quite looking forward to seeing them burn; the first steps to a new wholesome life (whatever that is).

The Blackberry is a particularly odious device. So entranced are owners by it's useability (meaning something actually works and is useful, compared to the majority of rubbish on sale which doesn’t and isn’t) that the brand has been culted. Blackberry owners adopt specific language and behaviour because (a) we are emotionally attached to the product and brand (b) we seek to bond with other owners so we can express this attachment. Like Hoovers and Sellotape before them, Blackberries are referred to by the brand not the product. There are even fan sites dedicated to swapping stories and advice on how these things can keep you working better for longer. I got sucked into the cult, firmly believing there were mobile users, and then there were Blackberry users. If the distinct ringtone of another Blackberry were to go off in a public space, I would look to see who was the owner was, for what exact reason I cannot be sure. To see if he looks like me? To walk up to the stranger and congratulate him on being a member of the club? Here, let me buy you a drink for buying the same mobile smart phone with unique patented pushbutton email capability as me. Can we be friends?

When two strangers acknowledge each other over mutual ownership of a brand, are they reinforcing their status, or are they actually seeking to make friendship? Are we so anxious about our social position that we must reinforce it at every opportunity, or are we privately so bewildered and lonely that these badges allow us to make real connections with one another? One thing is for sure, the majority of Blackberry owners are of the reptilian Donald Trump/ Alan Sugar variety, and while I'd like to present myself as a go getting 'man who can', I have no desire to discuss first quarter capital growth on preferred stocks with overly ambitious men in loud suits.

Bring on the fire.

Brands displayed 28/03.06: Adidas, Levis, YSL, Louis Vuitton, Blackberry, Apple, Orange, Asiacs, Saucony.

Brands consumed: Evian, Extra, Google, Amazon, GNC.